Joke Why You Want Beef and Broccoli Now

Everyone loves a good joke. Whether they're longer jokes or short ones, they can be fun for all ages. Here is a collection of some of my favorite farm jokes — and, yes, there are lots of corny ones in here:

1. Why did the pig dump her swain?
Considering he was a real BOAR.

two. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beefiness.

three.

4. Onetime ranch owner John farmed a pocket-size ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage and 60 minutes Section claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much y'all pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied old John, "There'southward my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus gratis room and board. The cook has been here for eighteen months, and I pay her $500 a week plus costless room and lath. Then in that location's the one-half-wit who works about eighteen hours every day and does almost 90 percent of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per calendar week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Sat night."

"That'south the guy I want to talk to, the one-half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied erstwhile rancher John.

5. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A Bulldozer.

vi. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It'southward pasture bedtime.

7. Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy, he congenital a pig-powered car.
He has to get rid of it, though. Every time he turns a corner, the tires squeal

viii. Why do cows take hooves instead of anxiety?
Because they lactose.

9. A human being was driving for hours through desolate state when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat* — he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove dorsum to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, he said, "Pardon me ma'am, simply I only ran over a cat in front of your firm, and assumed that it must belong to you lot. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off."

"Non then fast," she says. "How exercise yous know it was our cat? Could you draw him? What does he look like?"

The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said, "He looks similar this" as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.

"Oh no, you horrible man," she replied. "I meant, what did he wait like before you hit him?"

At that, the homo got upwardly , covered his optics with both hands and screamed, "Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

10. What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom?
You're a fungi.

eleven. On a rural road, a state trooper pulled a farmer over and said, "Sir, practise you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deafened!"

12. What'due south a potatoes least favorite day of the week?
Fry-day!

thirteen. A New York Urban center hipster moved to the state and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock shop and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take upward craven farming. He and then asked to buy 100 chicks.

"That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the urban center slicker replied.

A week later the hipster was back again. "I demand another 100 chicks," he said. "Male child, you are serious about this chicken farming," the human being told him.

"Yeah," the hipster replied. "If I can iron out a few problems."

"Issues?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the hipster, "I recall I planted that last batch too close together."

14.

15. What do yous call a cow with no calf?
Decaffeinated.

xvi. What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?
What a miss-steak.

Want to share the hilarity with others (or just want to become all-in on the Dad Jokes)? Cheque out any one of these great books:

• The Farming Joke Volume
• The Best Ever Book of Farmer Jokes
• Jokes For Farmers: Funny Farming Jokes, Puns and Stories

Michelle Miller, the Subcontract Babe, is an Iowa-based farmer, public speaker, and writer, who lives and works with her boyfriend on their farm, which consists of row crops, beef cattle, and sheep. She believes didactics is cardinal in bridging the gap between farmers and consumers.

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